Bloodied Misunderstandings
by LmfaooLydiah
Summary: When Yuuki thinks about who she really loves, but can't have... depressive thoughts take place. ZeroxYuuki Zeki - Slightly depressing in earlier chapters : Rated 'T' for blood.
1. Chapter 1

I can't remember the last time I smiled. Picking up the silver and delicate razor that I found yesterday, I only have _his _smile in mind, and his rare laugh too. Yet, I'm alone now and that beautiful sound won't reach my ears again. I barely feel the sharp edge tearing through my skin, the blood only tickles has it flows down my wrist, sparkling in the little light that I have in my room. To be honest, I'm surprised Kaname hasn't arrived. He nearly always can tell when a drop of my blood is spilt, as if it's engraved into his memory. Maybe he thinks Zero's drinking again. Maybe it's because he's another person that left me alone. The Aidou mansion must be pretty busy now. The music, the sweet foods, the smiles and happiness encased in dancing. Those things are what I want. To be able to grin and giggle like my best friends. But even they've gone. Back to their parent's. That a privilege I'll never get. Then, the chairman. On one of his unusual missions for the association with Yagari-sensei. I don't know where Zero is. I'm doing this while he's out, so he can't stop me. He couldn't stop me. He wouldn't. He'll understand it all when he sees my note. In truth, I know he doesn't love me. His words just keep echoing.

_"Sort yourself out before offering me your blood, Yuuki."_

Sort myself out? There's nothing wrong with me, except his overall attitude. Maybe, there's also my slight depression, but he doesn't watch me any more, he wouldn't notice that. He's the one that flinches away from my neck, looking disgusted. He's the one that never let's me in his heart. He's the one, that no matter how hard I try, can't except the fact Kaname is my brother. I love him as a brother, that's it. Maybe I should tell him..? No. I'm tired of this crap. I want to die, to drift, and be gone. If Zero hates me, then it's all the better for him. He won't hurt once I'm gone. He'll just go around with his normal frown and snap at all the night-class-loving-girls. Get angry at their 'Kyaa kyaa's and the 'Nyaa nyaaa's. The truth always hurts.

_"There's nothing wrong with me, Yuuki. I'm fine. Just, leave me alone."_

No matter how hard I try, I just can't do that. He's too fragile. Still the little boy I met 4 years ago. And I'm still the girl that tries to help wash away the mess and tears. But never succeeds. It's my turn to handle the pain now. It's almost sacrificing myself, so that he doesn't have to worry every time he **does **happen to see my sad face. Slowly, pulling the silver blade pack out, I move up even higher, to where the blood will really begin to stream. For what's going to be the last ever time, I draw up a picture of his face in my imagination. His silky locks, the lavender eyes and the softest lips, they all seem to drip with disgust at me. I push the razor to my vein, and sigh one last breath, except, it's echoed with a gasp. I don't even bother to raise my face to his, as I dropped the sharp side to the floor; my head drops with it. Tears begin to fall freely from my eyes, and a cold hand wipes them away, while the other is resting on the scars that lie upon my wrist, cooling and soothing. More words hang in the air, surprising me and making my heart flutter nervously.

_"What do I honestly mean to Yuuki?"_


	2. Chapter 2

They shocked me. I was expecting,

"_What the hell were you thinking?"_

or even,

"_Damnit! The chairman's going to kill me..."_

But his soft tone settled in my brain, along with his questioning eyes that held worry.

And what I think is betrayal. I'm imagining things though, I'm sure. Only Kaname would show me such emotion.

"_Yuuki, Everything is alright."_

And I believed him.

Shocked, when his muscular arms wrap around me, and his hand pushing my head towards his shoulder.

A warm embrace.

Not letting me go.

"_Please... let go."_

I wanted to die, right now.

Yes, I was right were I wanted to be but I knew I was enjoying more than I should be. I felt him flinch at my words as he pulled away. Don't worry, I wanted to shout, It's not your fault. I shouldn't be selfish.

"_Sorry."_

.He started to move away, and I realised how cold it seemed without his inviting arms wrapped around my shoulders, and his alluring breath tickling against my sensitive neck. But. It's not allowed. We're almost like siblings, a brother and a sister. Not a boyfriend and his girlfriend. Not lovers. A forbidden act. **Another **forbidden act. Although, it's not like our original sin has been committed for a while. Not since I last asked about the taste that my blood brought to him. He should be thirsty. His eyes are shielded by his hair and I just can't help but push it out of the way. 'Beauty such as yours should not be hidden.' Isn't that what he told me, last week? I shiver once more, as he looks up.

"_I.. I kno- I'm sorry."_

Sometimes, an apology isn't enough.

Which he seemed to grasp better than I realise.

I realised.

When his lips claimed mine.


	3. Chapter 3

"_I... Yuuki.. I'm -"_

Sorry? Yeah. Why don't you just go and break my heart once again? Don't think I didn't notice everytime your eyes lingered on her. Everytime, you wanted to wrap your arms around her, but not me. Her, who you relaxed with, but never... Never me. Her, who housed the soul of your enemy, Maria Kurenai. You held **her **when she was upset. Your eyes only skimmed over me.

That...

That really hurt... you know?

I had to leave our classroom. Run to the toilets. Cry.

I felt so jealous of her : Graceful, Beautiful and clever. Everything I'm not, and could never be. I just wanted her to skip back out from our lives. I'm so selfish. Yes. I admit it. I hate it too. I'm sitting here, unable to smile. Whenever you look over, and smile at me... you always look so sad.

"_I can't..."_

Your smile is so similar to his now. Kaname's smile never reached his eyes around me, either. I tried so damn hard, just to make your eyes sparkle with your beautiful smile. So hard. But it's her! Always her! You don't even see me anymore. It's Maria's face that overlaps mine when you smile at me, I know it. You never even bothered denying it. Didn't all your words mean **anything**? All those times you comforted me, when someone told me they hated me. All those times, I was scared and you told me everything would be okay. You never did speak truth, did you? Damn! Why won't you be happy?

"_I'm.. Kaname owns my life now... I can't, Yuuki. I'm sor-"_

"_Don't!"_

I don't want to hear it! That kiss meant something to me. It meant a lot. Was it a mistake to you? Just an experiment? Get my hopes up, and leave me, knowing whether you're a good kisser or not? Or perhaps, seeing how she's not available now, you're trying to replace her? I spent _**hours**_ crying over you. **Hours**. Yet, you didn't care when I didn't turn up at the classroom. You didn't worry when I wasn't at the change-over. You never wondered what was wrong when I didn't use the bathroom, or eat dinner at the table. You never cared. I need to face it. You never will.

"_Let me say it, Yuuki. Please."_

"_No."_

"_But, I'm sor-"_

"_I said no!"_

"_And I said I'm goddamn sorry!"_

Great. Who's going to repair this break?


	4. Chapter 4

Maybe I shouldn't have sprinted out like that. My tears are black from running mascara and eyeliner. Yeah. All I am, is your mistake. He's sorry for leaving? For coming back? For breaking my heart.. again? That seems so fair. After all, It's not like I deserve him. He's an angel, always has been and always will be. No matter how bloodthirsty he gets, he'll always be the kind one at heart. The beautiful and graceful one. Him and Kurenai are a good match I suppose.

I give in.

Yes. That it now. I've had enough of crying over what's wrong and what's right, over my selfishness. Had enough of new scars appearing everyday. Most of all, I've had enough of lying to myself that you'll actually love me, in the same way that I love you. You'll see me, rather than a substitute. You won't try and make her jealous by being close to me, you'll try and stay as close to me as possible, and tell me you love me. Lies. All lies, that I told myself, to believe. I've had enough of this lie. Had enough. That's it. I don't want to cry anymore. I don't want to feel this pain, I just want to give it all up. Let me feelings go. Be like a stone, hard to hurt or smash, no feelings, no happiness.

"_Kaname owns my life now."_

What? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Yeah, you took some of sempai's blood. Are bonds of blood really that strong? Almost curse-like... a curse that you don't want? Or is it that, you want me and Kaname together now. So you don't have to break my heart as you pass it along to him? Why? Why?! Don't you understand I basically chained my heart to you? You can't just pass something like that along.. you can't. I don't want you too. Are you just going to stop glaring at us when we're together, and change them into a happy smile, a smile so you don't need to worry? You'd never do that. Your pride wouldn't let you... I'm.. I'm sure.

"_I'm sorry, Yuuki."_

Damnit! Why do you always feel the need to apologize? Don't you understand yet? Don't you understand why I give you my blood, so you can live on?

"_**I love you."**_

My whispers are always too late. After you've walked away. After I've run off, or Kaname joins us. Let's face it. It's an unrequited feeling anyway. I only ever wanted to know whether you liked, no... loved, me. I never cared for **him **like that. He's more like a brother. A feared brother.

"_**I honestly do..."**_

The moonlight was shining through the trees, onto me and this slightly mossy log I've been sitting on for the last hour, crying tear after tear. A perfect scene. I was going to show you the place, my haven. I imagined my first kiss here. With you, and only you. I don't suppose any kiss will happen here now. Everytime I try to bring you, you're always 'busy'. Or maybe this is just my selfish thoughts once agai-

"_And I love you."_

...

What?!


	5. Chapter 5

Once again, the moonlight was shining through the trees. My face, streaked with forgotten tears was starting to get cold, what with the icy winter's wind. That voice had knocked me cold for a second, and then even colder as I realised the owner. _He _heard me? Of all the people... and he thought I loved him? Kaname-sempai means nothing like that to me.

"_I never told you, but I presumed you already knew."_

He was whispering his soft, and rather meaningless, nothings into my ear as he pulled me into he arms. The wrong arms. Was I betraying my love to Zero by being here? My mind, torn in two, one side screaming to fight, the other realising it was pointless to struggle against Kaname's inhumane strength. Pointless to struggle against where this cruel world had lead me. I didn't want this walnut-haired vampire, never. I wanted my grey-haired angel. Lavender eyes. Muscular chest. And heavenly soft lips, that I had only ever encountered once, but dreamed of often. Silenced by his chest, I pulled my arms up and tried to push away. I felt like I was being suffocated in unwanted love. I couldn't.. breath... Couldn't.. think. Then, suddenly it hit me. Zero felt the same way about me. He didn't want the love that I was giving to him. I was supposed to be a teenager, in foolish crushes that ended in small heartbreaks; not this painful love that meant I only looked at him, saw only his eyes and thoughts. Only thought about what he wanted and cared for. That's why.. even now when I'm broken-hearted over his every mistake with me, I still loved him. I cared for him. Foolishness and kindness, overlapping the selfishness I was making. Another tear fell. Hell, these realisations hurt. Every time. These scars, cut even deeper in my heart. With stitches that I had to place in myself, lying to myself, not being myself. Those stitches kept breaking, and opening, and releasing more pain. I think... I've given up on my heart.

"**Get the HELL off of her."**

I gasped.

Kaname growled.

Zero smirked.

"_Have you truly forgotten who lends you this life of yours?"_

"_Let Yuuki decide my answer."_

"_It is your question."_

"_But my decisions rest with her, along with my life."_

I could feel my heart beating back into life. My cheeks blushing again. His words had warmed me, and yet I still prepared for another heartbreak. Feared his words meant nothing to him, while they meant the universe to me. Kaname's eyes were searching my face, checking for every single emotion that covered it. I realised too late, and before I could replace a normal look, a smirk played around his mouth. _What_ the hell have I done... He pulled me back into his arms with ease as my legs wobbled.

"_She, however, is unsure of your... commitments."_

It had to be **that **part. Zero was staring at me, betrayal returning to his now sparkling eyes. No! I wanted those eyes to sparkle with **happiness**, not with _tears._ I truly have blown it now. I was just jealous of her, and upset that he rarely looked my way. My fault once again. As always. I ruin everything. I'm going to break Kaname's heart soon. I've hurt the chairman every time I forget to call him Father. I hurt the Day class every time I have to prevent them from seeing the people that they like. I wish I was a vampire, hunted by Zero. To die by his hands... it wouldn't seem as bad.

"_So be it."_

I watched his back disappear through the trees that I had thought would make such a beautiful scene before. But now it seems devastating. Paralysed in this spot, by the arms of someone I don't love. Never will. My angel has taken flight into a darker place. While I am held here in the arms of a devil. The good and bad collide, and take different courses. A sob escapes silently, so quiet that not even Kaname would have heard.

"_And so ends this easy fight."_

"..."

"_What's wrong Yuuki? You seem quiet."_

"_..."_

"_**Leave me the hell alone!"**_


	6. Chapter 6

I shouldn't have screamed. Nor run away. I should have stayed. Apologized. Why is it always the people around me that have to suffer because of my decisions? Kaname. Zero. Chairman. It'll be Yori next. Why do they care for me still? Why can't they see through the mask of smiles and laughs, notice I'm breaking down for no god-damned reason? I should be happy, right? I have the chairman, as a father. Kaname, as a brother-like figure and Yori as my best friend. Then, Zero. My angel from the deep. My fallen angel. Does he know how I feel? That I'm only unsure because of the times he's let me down before. I'm uncertain because I'm too in love with him. I'll have him, and he could hurt me in any way. As long as it's him and I can see his face, I'm okay.

"_So be it..."_

No fights. No arguing for me. Just acceptance. Why?! I want him to fight for me! Prove that he likes me, loves me! Prove all his words about how I had many people loving me. Or are these just lies? Lies to keep the mask up, so no-one else but him can see. No-one else can help. How I want someone to wipe away my tears, to keep me close and whisper...

"_It's alright... It's alright now."_

But is it? Have things ever been alright? My parent's aren't here for me. I'm lonely. Shouldn't be, but I am. It's tiring. These same words, circling around my head, threatening to break me. No-one's ever told me that they're proud of me. Ever. Only concentrated on my bad points and improving them, never complimenting the good. I'm not exactly ugly. Or beautiful. I'm not really intelligent or stupid... not lazy nor particularly sporty. I'm just average. The day class certainly think so, they can't understand my close relationship with the night class. Neither can I.. really.

"_So be it."_

Sobs rack up in my chest, as footsteps draw close behind me. I feel warm arms wrapping around my chest and someone's nose in my hair. Kaname. I know I shouldn't, but I turn in his arms and cry onto his shoulder. I let every emotion free and drain my eyes of tears that have been threatening to flow for as long as I can remember now. His hand gently strokes down my back, and returns to my neck as his mouth moves to my ear.

"_This may be cruel, but I can't leave things for much longer... I'm sorry, Yuuki."_

I begin to turn my head and look into his eyes, but his hands hold my head tight as he moves his head to my neck and breathes in slowly. Taking his tongue, he licks across what I'm sure is a vein. Shivers rack down me as I imagine Zero doing such things, like we used to before he snacked upon my blood. I doubt now that such intimate acts are ever going to be repeated. I remember the first time Zero bit me, in the corridor and I pushed him away, not knowing of his vampirism. Then, in his bathroom, as afterwards he pleaded with me to leave him, abandon him. Then, before the dance, the most desperate and forceful bite he had ever had. I wanted that again. His body had been pressed to mine, his hands wrapped around my wrists and trapped above my head, his tongue lapping up the blood that fell from my neck, then his eyes as he retreated. I was pulled from my thoughts as Kaname hissed slightly when his mouth opened.

"_I'm sorry,Yuuki."_

Pain. Remarkable and outstanding pain. I felt blistered, extremely sunburnt and flaky. I could feel my blood pounding, racing throughout my body like a liquid fire. I could feel it retracting away from the fangs that were stuck in my neck. I could hear the wind blowing and Kaname breathing, deeply. I felt like I was swimming in a river of blood, dizzy and thirsty.

"_I'm sorry..."_

"_So be it..."_

"_So ends this easy fight."_

"_Beauty such as yours should not be hidden"_

"_I said I'm goddamn sorry!"_

His words flashed around my head as warm lips crushed to mine. I couldn't breath, nor open my eyes. Everything seemed wrong. Memories from never-before flowed through me and finally I understood. Kaname. Juuri. Haruka. Rido. Pure bloods. Vampires. The thirst. Snow. The enclosed room. A rose.

"_Ai shiteru, onee-chan!"_

Those words from my mouth to Kaname's ears were ringing. I did love him. He was my brother. My brother... My mother had hidden my memories. Tears slid from my closed eyes. Okaa-san. Otou-san. Sacrifice. My life is full of sacrifice. My parents. Zero. Chairman taking me in. Kaname looking after me and hiding our bonds. It's painful to realise how many people do care. It's strange to feel that the strength the people near me have on holding me here. The strength is disappearing day by day, but it's there. Zero.. Zero.


	7. Chapter 7

"_It's done?"_

"_It is."_

I could hear the chairman and Kaname. I could hear the winds outside. I could hear footsteps resounding throughout the halls in the girls dorm. I could hear snores from the boys. My hearing has certainly improved. I strain my ears as I try to listen to the calm breath of the person that ran away from me. Then, I jump awake as I hear him beside me. Lavender and Hazel eyes are upon me, the owners in the closest proximity I have ever seen. Worry for me has brought them together, but as they see I'm awake they jump apart again. Hands are on mine. Zero's warming and Kaname's slightly cooler.

"_I'm thankful you are awake, Yuuki."_

Kaname leans over and kisses my forehead lightly. Zero growls slightly as I don't flinch away. He doesn't understand. Kaname smirks at his growl, and looks up to him.

"_You understand now?"_

"_I understand but I don't damn like it. You turned her. You turned her into a bloodthirsty being, introduced her to the pains of obsession and lust. You brought her into a society where she could be hunted down with one wrong move. You said I'd never goddamn betray her, but here she damn well lies as a pure blood vampire. You expect me to put all my faith within **that**? I am a hunter at heart. She is obviously a vampire. I was born to kill your type, not to-"_

"_What? Love her? Yeah. You should have realised by now how many times you've broken her heart. You've seen her tears. You've wiped them away. Then, you've created more. Kiryuu, you're disgusting. You are a vampire. You should find respect for us."_

My heart was shuddering. He was mistrusting me, and yet had almost said he loved me? I shut my eyes slowly, as tears begin to build up, and continue listening.

"_Damn you, Kuran! I can't love her now! Can't you see? She's pure blood! Even if I wasn't a hunter, I'm a level E! I have to betray her. I have to continue breaking her heart. She's not **allowed **to love me. She's supposed to be with you. Your blood tells me that, everytime I lust after her, your blood rages throughout me, causing me pain. It's **your** fault that I have to apologize after every little thing. Your fault that I have to look away. It's your fault that time after time she has to get rejected by me because your blood refuses to let me near! Yes! You let me live! You told me that because it was 'your' blood within me, **you** were protecting her. But in reality, Kuran, it's you that's hurting her. I have **no** respect for you. At all."_

Zero's words had opened my eyes. I saw Kaname's eyes glow. I saw his fangs extend. I saw his claws grow. I knew what was going to happen. My throat suddenly flared. Dry. I was thirsty at the thought, but I couldn't scream the warning. Kaname's blood refused to let me. My pure blood refused to react with my brain, give it oxygen, let me think, let me breath, let me scream or shout or warn. I watched in slow motion as I reached out some seconds too slow, as Kaname's claw ripped into Zero's chest, and removed his heart.

Everything paused.

I blinked.

I gasped.

I screamed.

I watched Zero slowly fall.

I caught him.

I heard Kaname laugh.

I'd had enough.

"_IT'S ONLY BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE! You know that Zero's words are true Kaname. You know that our blood refuses people to do things, you know it! And you let Zero drink it? You're not right! You should have known what it would do, what it would make Zero do. You should have known the pain it would cause me. You not nearly as clever as you damn well think!"_

I screamed and screamed. I heard the chairman run into the room. I heard him gasp and pull out Kaname who had stared at me shocked, his dignity disappear as his mouth dropped wide. I heard everything. But saw only Zero.

"_No..."_


	8. Chapter 8

_Cover my eyes._

I could see the blood staining Zero's shirt quickly, as his chest began to rise and fall slower each time. His ever-muscled abs moving with his breathing, and his pulse almost stopped. I saw a small smile light up Zero's face as his eyes locked to mine. Silver hair flopped from his eyes as he winked slowly.

_Cover my ears._

"Apparently Kuran's blood isn't strong within me anymore." He whispered, cradling my face like they did in movies. It seemed so cliché but I didn't care.

"I love you, Yuuki... I do. I lo-"

"I love you."

No. Why now? Here he was, dying, I had hardly any time. His last word's was his confession? It was almost cruel. Fate hated our families. Both of our parents dead. Both with siblings that loved, and yet it seemed now, hated us too. Another tear to the floor.

_Tell me these words are a lie._

I pushed my neck up to his mouth, begged him to drink, to try and live. I felt him shake his head lightly, him smile. I couldn't believe it. I'd finally got him, and he was leaving again. My heart crumbling. His hands ran through my hair as I pulled him up to my chest. I could feel him crying, so I wiped away his tears. Mine replaced his within milliseconds. I couldn't stop.

_It can't be true. That I'm losing you._

He's going. Leaving. His breathing getting even shallower. His hands shaking even more as he struggled to keep his hands by my eyes, always wiping away my tears. Always giving me strength.

I felt a breath, raspy and dry. It stopped. I looked at him. His eyes were closed. His mouth was in a smile. His hands were now clasped around mine, a ring on my finger. I hadn't noticed the small movement, too worried about his life, too angry about Kaname. I couldn't think. We were together within death, as I saw the moonstone shine on my finger. A last tear fell from my eye. Fell to the ring and splashed.

_The sun cannot fall from the sky._

My angel has flown. My sun has set. His silver hair was back over his eyes now. His lavender eyes closed. His soft lips, in the cheeky smirk he always gave me to cheer me up. His hands wrapped around the gun he always carried. I had a note in my pocket, as I withdrew the gun from his now delicate fingers. I smiled as I thought about seeing him again.

_Can you hear heaven cry?_

_The tears of an angel._

As the trigger released, his face flashed across my mind. I'll meet my angel again, only this time... The glistening eyes won't be tears.

I love you.

**Woaaah. I'm finished o.o **

**Well actually. I finished about 2 weeks ago. But handed my fanfic in as coursework in English. **

**I actually got an A*... **

**I'm not very good at writing so I'm quite surprised. I really tried my hardest to write the last scenes.. but I still don't think it's right. **

**If you were wondering about the song lyrics.. It's from 'Tears of an Angel' by RyanDan. **

**I got the song from one of MyVampireEyes' video's on Youtube. She has great fanfics on here too. **

**I might write out Yuuki's suicide letter. That was the note within her pocket. I'm not sure though.**

**I'll be writing more soon. Whether it's Twilight, VK, VG, Rosario+Vampire, DN Angel or some other anime I am complete obsessive over I don't know :]**

**I hope you liked this...**

**Reviews, much? :x**


End file.
